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My Zombie Survival Guide

November 9, 2010

PLINKY PROMPT: The zombie apocalypse has arrived. What do you do?

Left 4 Dead infected

First, I obtain guns – a shotgun and some sort of rifle. I will also need a machete. Or a frying pan. Or an electric guitar. Oh, and some Boomer bile.

I then clean my guns. I’m told that in disaster situations, doing simple tasks that focus your mind, such as cleaning a gun, calm you and get you thinking straight.

Then, my training will kick in (all from L4D and studying a myriad of zombie movies of course). I’ve been waiting for this day since reading the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide when I was 10.

I’ll be the token girl in the crew of unlikely bedfellows. I will need a big macho annoying guy, a pansy annoying guy, and a conservative law-abiding annoying guy as my teammates.

My average day will start with picking up a health kit and ammo from some really random place, and consist of some dark tunnels and some open spaces. These days will end with me locking a big metal door behind me as I run into another random place with health kits while I’m all hyped up on injected adrenaline.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. November 10, 2010 7:04 am

    Well one could easily survive by just taking a few steps. A stilted home (like the ones in most beach areas) are ideal for zombie survival. But anywhere that you can either demolish or pull stairs up will be a forever safe haven against a zombie apocalypse. As zombies do not have the ability to jump you will be perfectly safe.

    I suggest somewhere above the snowline as once it snows the zombies will freeze and you will be able to forage for materials and maybe even find a new safe house for the next year.

    One could out live the entire apocalypse and die a normal death only due to getting old as long as they took the time to prepare. I suggest you do a bit of research on zombie survival as most people have the ability, but not the brains to actually survive.

    And the zombies would only last so long before rotting so chances are they are all gone long before you die of old age.

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